"I still think Nomura is a hack."

This game is basically one big Sephiroth cosplay convention. It is like Squarsoft basically gave him permission to have sex with the entire series and this is the baby that was grown from that horrible union. Anyone who is a fan of Nomura, a moron, likes Square-Enix, and dislikes furries shouldn't read on. Cause this review will have plenty of those. Also, I typed III instead of II because this game is the third in the series. Kingdom Hearts II came out on the GBA SP under the name "Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories" I should know, I brought the game and ripped through the "Orginization XIII" in 1 night. Marluxia was the easiest final boss in the world.

Story: For the first several hours of the game (tutorial for a game you shouldn't even be playing if you don't know how) as a boy named Roxas. A young boy who lives in Twilight Town with his gang. Anyone who's played Chain of Memories will recognize Twilight Town as the second to last stage in the game, where you meet the enigmatic DiZ. Roxas arch-rival is Seifer of Final Fantasy 8 fame. And yes, you still want to kill yourself for playing a game with him in it. So after the long, long, long tutorial where you see much of Nomuras poison influence you finally get to play Sora. Who has just woken up from the year-long sleep that was meant to restore his memory after the witch Namine' fuzzled it up in Chain of Memories. And the game continues on from there

Controls: If you've played the first game you should be used to the controls in this one. They take some getting used to but no more time than it'd take to get used to any new action RPG. You should be killing heartless and nobodies in no time (lawls) The new thing is the reaction ability. Which I liken to the learn technique in Musashi: Samurai Legend. At a certain point most (if not all) enemies have a reaction, you'll know it when you see it. And at that moment you exploit the reaction and deal extra damage. The pirates of the Black Pearl can be lured into the moonlight and you'll deal damage. The reaction ability is basically used when you fight Sephiroth, who is broken in this game.

The D-pad is still around. And still too slow and cumbersome to actually be useful in a fight, so you'll be relying on the shortcut buttons. Activated with the L1 button. All in all with a few new and unnecessary additions, the controls remain the same from the first game. You'll pick up on them in no time, but still find them annoying as all get out. Just like you did with the first game.

Oh and the Gummi Ship is back. And even with a whole new creation system, stages, weapons and such. It's still terrible. Just truly terrible. I suppose it's because I'm so jaded about how it was previously. I'm sure someone might like it but I'd much rather just get these stages over and get back to the hack and slash.

Graphics: Man, Nomura must be into bondage. There are so many freaking zippers on all of his characters you wonder if he's got a leather fetish to compliment it. Even Mickey, who I never thought could be violated like this is running around in an outfit that basically screams "I shop at Hot-Topic, I am an idiot" I mean Sora, who was a cute little kid in the first one (And resembled another Nomura designed character by the name of Sion Barzahd from the game "The Bouncer" points to anyone who knows what that game is) Now basically looks like a mish-mash of every character the man ever designed. Proving beyong a resonable doubt that this guy is a hack artist with no imagination and no real talent. Especially considering that all his characters in the game look like they're basically cosplaying Sephiroth. The graphics themselves I honestly have no gripe with, they're just as pretty as the graphics in the first game, the game still has wonderful cutscenes, the worlds are all expressive and beautiful. If anything my only problem is the character design, like I said they're all just Sephiroth cosplayers.

Gameplay: Exactly like the first one, only diffrence is here you have the option of occasionally fighting hundreds and hundreds of Heartless with apparant ease. And then going into another area and having a hard time with 7 or 8 of the same breed. I swear to god I defeated a literal army of Heartless. 1000 actually. Shame the AI controlled Goofy and Donald are all but useless in their normal forms. (Trust me, just fuse at every opportunity. Otherwise you won't get much use out of your "partners") They could have made Kingdom Hearts III exactly as they did the first and I would have had fun, the new additions while entertaining are ultimately unnecessary. Because the difficulty isn't ramped up much. I had a harder time with Super Princess Peach than I did with this game. I mean if you have a hard time playing this game it must be your first action RPG because difficulty-wise this game is entry-level action - adventure at most. With an ability system that shouldn't be used outside of MMORPGS. You want to use an ability but you're 3 points short. So you gain five levels to get the required points, and you realize you still need to get rid of other abilities to use it. And then you realize that the ability is utterly useless. And moves like Aerial Dodge when compared to moves like Dodge Roll from the first game are remarkably useless.

Audio: Not much to say here, the music is fun and varied. And the voice acting is just as awesome as it was in the previous game.

Gripes: This is a Square-Enix world. But all the worlds are Disney based, and the Final Fantasy characters are Nomura designed. Yes, Setzer makes an appearence. But it is so short that it'd not worth seeing, nor does he show back up. Vivi's appearence brightened my spirits, but allowing Nomura to redesign him was a huge mistake. Once again the zippers appear and take away the adorable look of the clumsy but insanely powerful black mage. You never see characters like Sabin, Edgar, Terra, Butz, Galuf, Faris, Cecil, Kain, Rydia, or Edge. Not many SNES era character appearances, and certainly no Enix characters. No Wil from Illusion of Gaia, no Ratix Farrence or Iria Silvestoli, or Cius Warren or Ronixis J. Kenni from the original Star Ocean, No dare I say Ramza Belouve or his troubled friend Delita. Honestly I wouldn't have been upset if I had seen at least one Enix character. But I did not, I did not. They even included Paine from X-2, which I'm sure allowed Nomura to reach heights of orgasm unmatched. What with all the leather and chains and crap. Uncessary worlds like Pride Rock, Little Mermaid, and Halloween Town again seem to detract from any enjoyment I could have potentially had with the game. There are far, far too many recycled stages as well. Which really detracts from the score

If you're a moron who's got a bishounen fetish, lack taste in videogames, love Tetsuya Nomura, and don't have anything better to do ( Like play Grandia III or Radiata Stories for the 3rd time ) Then by all means pick up Kingdom Hearts III. I could only recommend it to other people if they've played the first one and second one (Kingdom Hearts II should technically be III since Chain of Memories is a direct sequel. Not a side-story, not a "what-if" it is a direct sequel. It explains everything that happened almost instantly after the first game ended) If they make a Kingdom Hearts: IV use characters from obscure games like Fei Fong Wong from Xenogears. Or Aya Brea from Parasite Eve. Stop catering to Nomuras throngs of Sephiroth supporters and morons who's knowledge of Final Fantasy games extends to about X and whos knowledge of Enix games doesn't go beyond that terrible Star Ocean: The subtitle is really goddamn long.

Also: I swear for the Pride Rock segement they turn Sora into a little lion cub who attacks enemies with a keyblade in his mouth. That is probably the biggest gameplay mistake I've ever seen. Anyone and everyone will hate that section of the game. It is impossible to not hate it. Pride Rock is truly a stupid and terrible level segment.

Gameplay 7/10
Graphics 9/10
Sound 8/10
Originality 7/10
Fun Factor 7/10

Reviewer's Score: 7/10, Originally Posted: 04/14/06