Recently I went to a show featuring giant animatronic dinosaurs. When looking at these life-sized beasties I thought about making a top ten dinosaur games list. That proved a little too broad. So upon further review I found past video games that promoted one of the biggest myths about dinosaurs: that dinosaurs and cavemen lived together. So that's when I came up with a more suitable top ten list. A top ten list that involved caemen; whereas you play as a caveman in one situation or another. The early 90's and late 80's actually had lots of games that featured cavemen; and subsequently put them against dinosaurs most of the time as foes. Many of these titles remain lost and forgotten like the prehistoric past itself. But some still remain in our hearts as timeless fossilized classics brought back to life. Of course picking different types of games involving cavemen isn't so easy a "caveman could do it." Some of these titles are remarkably obscure. But thanks to Gametrailers' 'Video Game Vault', some actually came back into the public's mind. And remember, these are cavemen who specifically belong in games and nothing else. Games involving the Flintstones do not count. So grab your club, put on your leopard skins, and circle that mastodon as we look back into the stone age of gaming to dig up the top ten "Cavemen" of gaming.

What an appropriate name for your stereotypical hairy caveman: Ugh!! Appearing on at least several different titles on the Commodore 64; Ugh! was pretty much subjected to a basic Neanderthal task: scrounging for food. One game involved Ugh! carrying eggs to eat while avoiding dinosaurs that must be killed with a club. Another involved Ugh! trying to steal eggs from a Pteradactyl named 'Pterry'. Yes you heard me: 'Pterry.' The exact same name as that wimpy green pterosaur puppet from 'Pee Wee's Playhouse.' Surely a nemesis such as this to terrorize Ugh! earns him a spot on our caveman list.

Sam Goodrock is on a heroic quest to save his village from famine. Yes you guessed it, another game involving a caveman going after food. Well when you're in the ice age food is pretty hard to come by. But luckily Sam was smart enough to live in a jungle unlike those other Cro Magnon morons who lived in the snow. Jungles provide a rich sustinence of food but also bad guys. Most of the bad guys are...take a wild guess...dinosaurs!! Oh how historically acurate we are: a jungle dwelling caveman killing dinosaurs! And surprise, surprise: he uses a club to beat them!! Let's move further up the evolutionary chart to see where we can find more suitable cavemen heroes for our list.

An XBox title that 'time had forgotten', Tork is rather young by caveman standards. And he apparently is the biggest caveman punk ever since 'Alley Oop'. Tork's father has been kidnapped while defending the village and Tork must go after him. And Tork's father must be the most important caveman ever since saving him apparently saves "the universe." Beating up enemies enough transforms you into different animal shapes to kick major bad guy tail. Now unlike most cavemen games: Tork actually travels through time. Yes, there are three different time zones he goes through: one being his own time, then the Middle Ages and then Modern Times. Want to know what's even weirder? This won't be the last game involving a caveman going through time. (SPOILER!)

As we continue to look in awe at our fine modern day athletes compete in the 2008 Beijing Olympics, let's go back in time to look at their ancestors as the very first olympics were founded. According to this game, the first olympics were held by cavemen and not the Greeks. Six different cavemen contend in different tests of primitive skill. Some examples include the ecquivalent of the 400m dash: except our forefathers ran not for gold but to get away from a hungry saber toothed tiger. And losing a paul vault was more than agony of defeat: it was the agony of getting chewed on by a Tyrannosaurus. This game actually featured a six player mode for the NES version in which all your friends could compete in the Cavemen games: though the game's control and fun factor is rather 'prehistoric'.

Even though the Flintstones are nowhere on this list, this game has a very eerie Hanna Barbara quality to it. First off the name implies our hero has a big nose. Indeed he does!! Even more bizarre, he can fly by using his club. Now does that sound eerily familiar? Of course it relates to Captain Caveman!! And even some of the enemies look like Hanna Barbara dinosaurs from 'The Flintstones'. 'Yabba Dabba DOH!' And nowadays it wouldn't happen, but Big Nose was an unliscened Nintendo game. Don't expect to find it on Virtual Console! But perhaps what makes Big Nose also stick out other than 'shameless Hanna Barbara rip off' is the story. One day Big Nose sees a pteradactyl flying in the sky and decides to chase it down for dinner. Along the way he kills dinosaurs, insects and other nasty critters in order to capture the winged entree. The sheer genious of this story astounds me: kill a lot of dinosaurs in order to chase after one pteradactyl! Big Nose you are one persistent sonnuvamammoth!

Did the Ikari Warriors have a prehistoric ancestor? If so, he came in the unevolved form of Dino Riki! Like Ikari Warriors, Dino Riki walks back and forth horizontally and vertically firing projecticles at his opponents. And once again: your opponents are dinosaurs! Dino Riki has no story and has no real end. In fact if you beat the game you start all over and keep playing it until you've had enough. How does Riki rank so high on this list of Trogolodite champions of justice? Because he apparently loves his job blowing up dinosaurs! His sprite has a huge fixed grimace implanted permanently on his face. Either Riki knows what he is doing is for the good of all cavekind, or he's history's first serial killer. That's what makes the game so interesting: dinosaurs explode and your hero smiles at a job well done leaving bits and pieces of T Rex everywhere!

Of all the cavemen on this list, none are more bizarre than Bonk! He literally is a caveman with the largest skull ever!! It doesn't make him any smarter since he uses it to destroy his enemies. When he powers up his head just keeps getting bigger until it literally makes him float. It sometimes gets to a point where his head makes him look unlike any other being I've seen in a game, let alone a caveman. Words can't describe how insane this little caveman skullbasher is. All throughout the levels he visits bizarre worlds and fights off bizarre enemies. And nothing can be more weird than Bonk going inside a dinosaur and coming out the dinosaur's anus whereas an exit sign is clearly made visible. But here is one of the most bizarre facts about Bonk that put him on this list. Bonk was actually a mascot for a system not a whole lot of people in the US owned. Bonk was the official mascot for TurboGrafx-16. He never reached the status of Mario and sonic of course; but he reached his status here on our top ten list of cavemen for not only being one of the craziest cavemen ever, but for being his own mascot.

He may not be the most evolved species of early man on our list; but Chuck Rock has some qualities about him that stick out more than his massive gut he uses to kill prehistoric pests. Well first off his quest isn't to look for food but to save his wife. Now you might be thinking what kind of wife could marry a fat bloated scruffy caveman? Actually I saw Chuck's wife, and she is a hot boxum blonde cave babe!! The fact she could marry a lug like Chuck obviously means he's more heart than gut. His language isn't evolved so much either other than his ability to utter "unga bunga' and 'uh oh.' But one language Chuck knows is the language of music. Chuck can wail on his guitar in the intro screen. The music for the intro screen is incredible; easily one of the catchiest title screen music pieces ever!! In fact each crazy world with all its crazy cartoony critters has its own groovy beat. I also admire how the team who made Chuck Rock could come up with their own zany creations rather than rely on Hanna Barbara dinosaurs. We got a plesiosaur with a snorkel and even a tyrannosaurus with boxing gloves and boxer shorts on. It fits perfectly in Chuck's world making this one of the most humurous and cleverly designed cavemen games yet.

Ask anyone if they've played a game starring cavemen, and more than likely they'll mention this awesome title. 'Joe and Mac' is a classic. For its time the graphics were incredible and its use of sound was amazing. Joe and Mac were also alternatively known as 'Cavemen Ninjas'. Now how can you go wrong with a caveman and a ninja? 'Caveman Pirates' maybe? Hmmm...nah. Anyways, what are Joe and Mac's objectives? Well it's not to save one cavegirl; it's to save LOTS of cavegirls!! The hottest blonde, red head, green head, blue headed cave babes this side of the stone age. (I guess hair coloring was invented during this time as was 'Slim Fast.') Oh yeah, it's good to be a cave pimp. The cavegirls were apparently sacred off by 'Neanderthal Nerds'; and Joe and Mac must bring them down along with various dinosaurs: most of which are just as intimidating as any of the dinosaurs mentioned so far. But not only do Joe and Mac beat down the Neanderthals; they actually eat meat left behind by those Neanderthals! Caveman cannibalism!! And these caveman are so hardcore they actually fight the devil!! The power of Cave Christ compels you!! Well obviously Joe and Mac is perhaps the most well known if not the best caveman game ever: at least the game that involves you playing entirely as a caveman that is.

Even if feminism wasn't around during the stone age; our top caveman ever in video gaming is actually a caveGIRL!! And she rightfully came from one of the best games ever!! Ayla from Crono Trigger is perhaps the more empowering version of a mighty prehistoric female warrior! She may look attractive but she is far tougher than she looks. As chief of the Ioka Tribe during the Prehistoric times of Chrono Trigger, her constant fight against their rivals the Reptites only proves how dedicated a leader she is. Imagine that, a female leader during caveman times. This definitely adds more points to her awesomeness. After Lavos lands and consequently wipes them out, Ayla retires and joins the party. Even though she doesn't use any magic, her brash strength and skill with delivering heavy blows has made her a valuable asset in Chrono's time travelling quest. In my experience I rely on non-magic users to get the job done right in an RPG; and Ayla is definitely no excpetion. Akira Toryama once again made another brilliant character design that fit quite well in an RPG based off time travel. After all: in most time travelling themed settings who doesn't want to go back to the prehistoric past? It's also apparent Toryama loves to design dinosaurs, as was also seen previously in DragonBall. But either way you look at the game, it's hard to deny Ayla's role as one of the most kick ass RPG characters from it. And that's why when it comes to the top cavemen of gaming, it goes to the kick ass cave babe we all know as Ayla!

Our quest through time to look at the various prehistoric heroes has come to an end. Some of these games remain as timeless as the heroes themselves while others remain the fossils that they are. But it truly showed us what a unique time it was to feature cavemen of all sorts in a game. How nostalgic could one get looking back at a game featuring a hero from 1 million years ago? They may not have evolved to Master Chief or Mario standards; but it's still fun looking at the oddness and sometimes hilarious games that featured cavemen!

List by slysora